音乐填满了我的心

这几天我的心情特别特别得差，我脑海里塞满了许多许多的问号。。。

天天都在想为什么别人的生活那么的精彩有趣而我的是一堆一堆的问号和艰难

我知道也很多人都和我讲过很多次不可以和别人比因为我根本不知道别人的事，别人的life...我的烦恼然而是我的发脑而跟伤感的是钱的问题。。。家人的支持。。。这两点都够烦了。。。

这几天都会无时无刻崩溃特别是在晚上头脑空空的时候，胡思乱想的时间也特别的多。。。

明天本来好期待好期待可以见到我的宝贝啊公但是今天被我的胡思乱想给搞砸了。。。

本来现在这个时候可以见到他的，但是也出不成。我今天友好搞好高的期望你会出现在我的面前但是到最后也没有结果。。。所以吵架了。。。伤心过了就算了

23岁的我，好像开始做我心里想做的东西，那些东西包括了好多好多的梦醒

也有好多好多的东西想要和我最亲爱的一起做。。。

现在的面子书里，可以见到朋友生活里的点点滴滴，可以说是80%有男或女朋友的朋友家人都知道，都很支持。可以一起吃饭，走街，谈天，在一起一天开开心心的

为什么我的这一段好好的感情要偷偷摸摸的呢。。。

我感觉好厌倦了就只是为了‘你’一个而天天都不舒服，有种不氛气的感觉。。。

好伤心，心好疼。那中种感觉只好用微笑来遮掩

WHAT LIES BENEATH

Leave me alone, a feeling I dislike,

Do things alone, a task that I hate

Be by myself, something that I have to do

When you’re out; i feel alone

Been here snce then, stil isn’t fair

What do I do, when things go wrong

Cheating myself wont be able to last long

Talk myself in turns everything wrong

Wanting to do things, it isn’t possible

Being what I want to be seems impossible

Living life to the fullest; never in my dreams

Being stuck in a place I dislike: I’M IN IT

Be with someone you are comfortable with, I wonder

Don’t choose your friends; well is there a choice

Talk to that one you trust; ask again is there

When it comes to you, only me I’ll be there

Things go wrong, I blame myself

Think too much, and get frustrated

Just a stupid reason I’m wasting my time

But in the end: problems still have to get mended

You’re out, I’m here

Not thinking straight yet once again

Don’t mess things I tell myself

Don’t blow it convince myself , again, again and again

Think of ways to change myself

It hurts but I ‘m not gonna tell

Stay happy stay positif , I tell me

In the end it still is what it is to be

happiness matters.......

yesterday on the 23rd was the day when me ah gong had to leave me alone here in the jungle for MASUM archery and go all the way to Bangi for the competition....when i heard this news at first like a month ago i freaked and was just in no mood to even think about ah gong not attending class because of the competition....but now....i can tell myself to give my full support towards whatevr me ah gong's heart desire....if i turn the situation around and see again if he were me and i were him and i really really want to persue in something that i really like i would really like my other half to be supportive of me and not be pissed or mad at me......so i finally came to this conclusion and noth of us are happy....no arguments...just being supportive.....
i've been coming across articles that talks about how to live longer orarticles on how to maintain a good relationship with your partner and both involves being happy.....
make ypurself happy and you will tend to feel comfortable with yourslef
make your partner happy and both of you will be happy together and that important alrite.....
be happy and live longer
be happy and it will automatically help you de-stress
dont argue over silly stuff.....*admits that i do*
i really feel much better not having to argue all the time over small stuffs that happens...this im doing my best in changing....for the both of us....
friends say dont put too much feelings towards someone too fast...but when is it considered fast???is 1 year fast??or we have to wait until 10 years than only considered not fast....to me it doesnt apply at all....how to love someone but not fully committed??how would u love someone but dont fully trust that someone....i believe that if u trust that someone of yours you will be able to sustain the relationship....trusting involves telling each other secrets.....sharing all sorts of moods with each other be it stormy mad or drizzily sad.....i am glad that me ah gong always tells me that and because of that even though we fight we get to get over things and put it aside and that past will never be taken out again......
it takes only one goodbye to kill me be it one day or one week....i dont feel comfortable not being with him....not having him around me....but even so i have to learn how to be comfortable as we can never be together all the time.....*^.^*
well practicing thinking positive helps....
note to myself is to stay happy,stay strong and most importantly stay supportive.....
me ah gong:do your very best out there....know that im always supporting you in whatever you do....*just gimmie some time to digest*teehee* i love you evry much and i miss you dearly....
take care ya....

-xoxoxo-
love always